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So My Mr. Hammer and I have wanted kids since the day we got married. Anyone that is close to Mr. Hammer knows how much he adores children and is almost willing to have them any way possible! ;) I remember the December after we got married (2 months) how I had decided I wanted to have a child now. I was ready! Mr. Hammer was of course on board with this idea... I was just too chicken to actually pull the goalie. We threw around the idea all the time for the next couple months until I did. We pulled the goalie!

Within the month we were pregnant. This of course was a HUGE ego boost for Mr. Hammer. He rocks at getting his girl preggos. TMI! Anyways... we found out on our 1 year anniversary trip and were beyond excited. I dont think you can ever really explain to someone the feelings you feel when you know you are about to go from size 2 to 3. That this was a piece of each of you. This was one of the most wonderful moments of our life!

We got home and things just didnt feel right. I felt all wrong and I knew long before the doc told me. I went striaght home from work, fell the the floor and just cried that I had lost this baby. What had I done? Did I not have what it takes to take care of a child? Let me just tell you how wonderful Mr. Hammer was through all this.

A couple nights later I asked for a blessing. In the blessing I wasnt told I had lost the baby or that I hadnt. But I felt it in my heart... alone with the most comforting peace. All was well.
I went through the horrible misscarriage being positive this wasnt the end and kept focused on the future.

Well it happened! Im pregnant again! Its so wonderful. And scary. It hasnt been the same as last time. I feel alot more cautious and less attached. I have moments of doubt that I will keep this baby and am scared to tell anyone in cause I do. But Im 13 weeks now and am feeling good about it! I am so grateful for another chance and for the miracle it is to have a child.

Through these experiences I have been so thankful for the temple for so many reasons. For forever families. For the peace and comfort it has brought. For the personal revelation. I am so thankful for husbands and the strength they are to their crazy wives.

Anyways. We are SOOO excited. Mr. Hammer is going to be the BEST daddy in the world!

btw.. you should be excited too! :)

-L