52

you da you da best! you da you da best!

:)

L

51

So I havent been feeling well today and Mr. Hammer has been so good about doing whatever he can to help me feel comfortable. Well of course I had to work still.. I asked him to bring me something before he went to his last class today and not only did he bring me the juice but he left me in the BEST mood. I dont need any material things from my Mr. Hammer. All I need is him. I cant even explain how happy/excited I was to see him (in his pilot pants even!;) and how I still felt that way when he left. He makes my days so bright.. no matter what. I dont know if I could ever live without him. He is my everything. :)

L

50

I am weird.

One of the side effects from this is I get into food ruts. Well I was watching a movie last night that had cheeto puffs in it... I WANT CHEETO PUFFS! Like I said.. weird.

Mr. Hammer is weird.

He was so sweet! He laughed at me for wanting cheeto puffs so bad but then the next day he surprised me with them at lunch! My Mr. Hammer loves me enough he helped in my food craves! I love him! He is weird. We have a good time.

*say chubby bunny*

hahaha

It was like snow! :)

L

49

I was just thinking about my Mr. Hammer and the little moments we have that make me so happy! Like we had just had a seriously awesome moment and he decided to ruin it by saying.. "I have a confession." Say what?? You did not just ruin this moment.. only he made it better! While I was gone he had tried on his wedding ring. He just makes me smile with the little things.

I love the way he smiles when he sees me for the first time in a while.

I love the way he says my name.

I love how he holds my hand everywhere we go.

I love how he makes fun of my English.

I love that we laugh at the stupid things ppl do.. us and others.

I love/hate it when he talks mexican to me. ;)

yada yada...

There are so many things about Mr. Hammer and the things he does that make him perfect for me. Hes a wonderful man... I mean tough/strong and other such manly words. :)

L

48

Mr. Hammer..

I LOVE YOU!

L

47

The last couple days have been happy days. Not that we arent happy. Mr. Hammer always makes me happy but the last couple of days seem to be full of extra laughter and smiles. I love to think about it! I just smile. Really we are stupid. We find this funny. i.e. choc. chip. west. cookies. WHAT? Yeah.. I know. But it still makes me laugh. Being stupid is fun. Being with Mr. Hammer is fun.

21 days and counting...

I cant wait!

L

46

Poor PEG is back in the hospital after being hit.. again. :( So this moring Mr. Hammer and I got up and took her to Preston Watts. Then Mr. Hammer dropped me off at work. Thats the fun part. I know its not fun for him since he is the one doing all the driving but it felt kinda nice to be dropped off by my man for the day. Getting to kiss him good bye before I get out of the car. Like a family. We totally had a "we're a family" moment. I think Im gonna enjoy the next couple of days. :) But Im also going to mourn for my other baby.. PEG. ;)

45

Its storming today! I have torn feelings about this storm. On the happy side of things.. Storms can be so very romantic! ;) On the not so happy side of things.. Its not meant to storm again til after my outside wedding!! Anyway.. I wish Mr. Hammer and I didnt have to work so we could sit at home and cuddle watching the storm. Not doing anything and feeling good about not doing anything and not thinking about anything and feeling good about not thinking about doing anything. Just living in the happy moment... Too bad thats not reality.

L

44

I was just sitting at home and thinking about nothing when I realized I wasnt thinking about nothing I was thinking about Mr. Hammer. I was so happy! Even when Im not thinking about him I am thinking about him. He is always on my mind. In everything I do. He is such a huge part of the person I am now. I wouldnt want it any other way!

L

43

Talk about dye nightmare. (Momma you will appreciate this one) Last night about 5pm I realized I hadnt dyed my hair again before these pictures! And.. Janie isnt around anymore to do it! So I asked Mr. Hammer to do it... Yeah that was my fault. I knew I wouldnt be able to hand over the ropes so easily right before something so big.. i.e. engagement pics. He wasnt doing a bad job just not how I wanted. (This is where Momma is laughing. Always making fun of my control issues. ;) So because I couldnt let go and just trust him I got the black dye all over me. Which by the way doesnt just come off. And once again I wasnt able to let go. UGH. Haha but in the end my hair is black.. mostly and lucky for me Mr. Hammer is AMAZING and was so good about my stupid ways. I cant wait for another dying experience chance for me so we can bond over it this time instead of future Mrs. Hammer having a stupid moment.

L

42

Sometimes I feel like Im on a totally different level then Tyler. He out does me in everything. I never seem to be able to live up to him. Which is why Im holding on SO tight. I will never let him go. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful example of what a person should be. Im so grateful for that. Sometime Im just frustrated with him for being so amazing too. That is wrong. The real problem here is I dont feel like I live up to the person he should be with. The kind of person who will build him up. Not someone like me who needs him to stay afloat. But aside from the fact that I am failing at this.. I never stop trying to be a better person for him. Hopefully one day I can be like him.

Mr. Hammer.. You are

my hero

my love

my inspiration

my best friend

my life

my better half

my EVERYTHING.

Thank you for what you do for me by just being you. You will never know how much love I have for you. Forever I am yours.

L

41

day 6 - 4:46 pm

Mr. Hammer is on his way home!
HAPPINESS!

:)

L

40

day 6 - 1:49pm

I feel totally UGH. My head is pounding and I just got done with coughing like a mad woman (I think that wasnt due to the sickness. Maybe I was choking.. hmm.) I still have to work for 3 more hours and the physical side of life just sucks but all I could think about when I went to lunch was Mr. Hammer. Mr. Hammer and how beautiful the day is! I wished so much he was sharing it with me. Its 71 outside. Just a little chilly and the sun is beaming! Its like the whole universe is just as happy I am that my Mr. Hammer is coming home tonight.

L

39

day 6 - 9:48 am

Today I am sick. Which sucks for many reasons.

one. I have to work.

two. It just plains sucks/is ANNOYING.

three. Today is the day Mr. Hammer comes home and Im feeling like UGH so all I wanna do is sleep.

Talk about bittersweet. I cant seem to get my life straight! Im gonna stay up for you Mr. Hammer but if I am sleeping when you get here.. PLEASE dont be mad. I hurt. :)

L

38

day 5 - 7:25 pm

So I am hanging out with Janie right now. Who I LOVE and ADORE but all I can think about is when I get to call my Mr. Hammer later tonight! This whole being away experience has been held together by our nightly talks. I need them. I long for them. But there is something special about tonights... ITS THE LAST ONE!! My Mr. Hammer is coming home tomorrow!! My dreams are coming true!

:)

L

37

day 5 - 10:58 am

Last night I got pretty much no sleep. I was on the phone with Mr. Hammer all that time! TIRED.. totally worth it!

*he just sent me an email*

Mr. Hammer is AMAZING!!

I miss him.

My Parents have been here helping with wedding and they are about to leave then its a LONG countdown til the return of my MR. HAMMER!

L

36

day 3 - over

I was busy doing wedding and fell horrible that I didnt get to blog. :(

day 4 - 8:12 pm

Its been a hard day and I need my Mr. Hammer. But I know he loves me and would if he could.

I love my Mr. Hammer!

L

35

day 2 - 2:59 pm

I need a hug from my Mr. Hammer.

L

34

day 2 - 11:29 am

I could feel it from the start,

Couldn't stand to be apart.

Something about you caught my eye,

Something moved me deep inside!

Don't know what you did boy but

You had it and I've been hooked ever since.

I told my mother, my brother, my sister and my friend

I told the others, my lovers, both past and present tense.

Everytime I see you everything starts making sense.

Just do your thang honey!

Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you

Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do(what you do).

You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.

You got soul, you got class.

You got style with your bad a** - oh yeah!

Ain't no other man its true

- all right -

Ain't no other man but you.

Just do your thang honey!

Never thought I'd be all right.

No, no, no!

Till you came and changed my life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

What was cloudy now is clear!

Yeah, yeah!

You're the light that I needed.

You got what I want boy, and I want it!

So keep on givin' it up!

Tell your mother, your brother, your sister, and your friend.

And the others, your lovers, better not be present tense.

Cause I want everyone to know that you are mine and no one else's!

Oooooooo, oh!

Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you

Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do(what you do).

You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.

You got soul, you got class.

You got style your bad a** - oh yeah!

Ain't no other man it's true

- all right -

Ain't no other man but you.

Break it down now!

Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other! (other)

Ain't no other, ain't, ain't no other LOVER!

Ain't no other, I, I, I need no other!

Ain't no other man but you!

Ohhhh!

You are there when I'm a mess

Talk me down from every ledge

Give me strength, boy you're the best

You're the only one who's ever passed every test

Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you

Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do(what you do).

You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.

(You're the kinda guy, a girl finds oooo yeahh)

You got soul, you got class.

You got style your bad a** - oh yeah!

Ain't no other man it's true

- all right -

Ain't no other man but you.

And now I'm tellin' you,

so ain't no other man but you.

Ain't no other man, can stand up next to you

Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do(what you do).

You're the kinda guy, a girl finds in a blue moon.

You got soul, you got class.

You got style your bad a** - oh yeah!

Ain't no other man it's true

- all right -

Ain't no other man but you.

L

(look it up baby. Ain't No Other Man: Christina Aguilera)

33

day 2 - 8:58 am

Last night was the hardest. It was his first night away and I wasnt dealing well. Then I was mean. I wish I didnt have so much pride that I could see how much he loves me and overcome it. Ok thats a lie. I see it. I know it. I feel his love. I just have a hard time overcoming my own issues. UGH stupid teenager.

The night ended fabulous! I fell asleep talking to him. Maybe this was mean also but I enjoyed feeling like I was with him all night. Waking up and my first thought was him and us being together before I realized that my phone was dead and because of that so was the alarm and Im late for work. TOTALLY worth it! :)

I just love him. I hope everyone can see how much! I wish I could explain it all to everyone.. but there are some words just for him. Even if that mean the rest of the world doesnt hear it and know its alright because the one that means the world to me knows. Thats all I need.

L

32

day 1 - 8:18 pm

I just finished emailing my Mr. Hammer when Janie showed up! ;)

L

31

day 1 - 6:38 pm

I got home today and walked in the door to an empty house. One of the worst feeling I have felt I think. Mr. Hammer better not die on this trip! So I tried to distract myself with some HGTV... the TV wont work! Of course that would happen and I know about nothing about how all that crap works.

On a good note. I went to the gym today. Havent been since Mr. Hammer and I begun. I save my spare time for him. Altho the gym needs to start riding up front in my game of life! and... Janie is coming over tonight to plan wedding!! Im excited. We always have a good time and I get to talk non-stop about my Mr. Hammer. It is OUR wedding. (As I was reminded last night ;)

L

30

day 1 - 4:44 pm

I just got a message from Mr. Hammer!!! :)

L

29

day 1 - 2:48 pm

I had been waiting all day to hear that my Mr. Hammer didnt die in his stupid airOplane on his way to his stupid football game and all along I had a txt that must of got lost in the vortex or something! Sad. He didnt die yet. Happy.

I just had a bragging moment about him tho. Not that this makes up for him leaving me for like a million years to see a football game but... I went back to the parts department at work and they were on the computer reading something about this game my Mr. Hammer is headed to right now. So.. I was like hey my fiancé is going to that! (insert huge proud bragging smile here)

L

28

day 1 - 11:36 am

I just am missing my Mr. Hammer. Im thinking about him and how he is having a blast on a big airOplane. Mr. Hammer loves airOplanes!

I love Mr. Hammer!

L

27

day 1 - 8:09 am

Said goodbye to Mr. Hammer. (stupid football) Nothing has happened. I went to sleep woke up for work on time. Got up. Got ready. Left for work. On time. Sad.

I was walking through the house thinking and feeling kinda lonely. I guess its just the knowledge that I know he is gone and not coming home to me tonight.

I closed with him last night. I just wanted to spend our last night before this seperation together. Only I got sick of that real quick. For many reasons.. So I decided to spice it up by talking to him. It worked. ;)

I wore my ring to bed last night. On purpose. It was one of those nights. Prob will be for the rest of this time in hell. (Baby, I was talking about the place)

At work now. Should be working. Im gonna go do that. Got alot to do at work and tonight... Momma comes tomorrow!

note to Mr. Hammer: You looked nice today! Wish I could be with you to enjoy the sight! ;)

L

26

In about 24 hours my Mr. Hammer is leaving me for 120 hours. This is going to be 5 VERY long days. We havent spent a free minute apart for the last 1632 hours. He is my life. I need him. This is going be a slow count down. Time decided its gonna take its sweet time over the next 5 days. Stupid time. Doesnt it know its screwing up our we're new and happy and in love and cant be away from each other time!

o yeah..

STUPID football.

L

25

I am so grateful for an AMAZING man!

I have been having freak out moment after freak out moment about this wedding. Stressed to the max. Thats how I am. I stress.

I know he has alot going on too. I forget that sometimes tho. But he just takes my crap in stride and loves me still. Why? Love maybe? I dont know but I want him to know how grateful I am for him and his love!

I need to take lessons from him. I always try to be there and be what he needs but I fall short 90% of the time. He just lets it go and keeps loving me.

I act like a 4 year old. He loves.

I forget something important. He loves.

I say something mean. He loves.

I forget to leave him a water to drink even tho he had just said he was thristy. He makes fun of me then loves.

The list continues. You can see it in his eyes that all he wants is for me to be happy. No matter the cost. Thats just the thing. I dont want to cost him anything. I want to be what he needs. I will try even harder. All I want out of life when it comes down to it is Mr. Hammers happiness. For us to have a happy life full of love and adventure.

Thanks.

You. Are. The. Man.

L