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So My Mr. Hammer and I have wanted kids since the day we got married. Anyone that is close to Mr. Hammer knows how much he adores children and is almost willing to have them any way possible! ;) I remember the December after we got married (2 months) how I had decided I wanted to have a child now. I was ready! Mr. Hammer was of course on board with this idea... I was just too chicken to actually pull the goalie. We threw around the idea all the time for the next couple months until I did. We pulled the goalie!

Within the month we were pregnant. This of course was a HUGE ego boost for Mr. Hammer. He rocks at getting his girl preggos. TMI! Anyways... we found out on our 1 year anniversary trip and were beyond excited. I dont think you can ever really explain to someone the feelings you feel when you know you are about to go from size 2 to 3. That this was a piece of each of you. This was one of the most wonderful moments of our life!

We got home and things just didnt feel right. I felt all wrong and I knew long before the doc told me. I went striaght home from work, fell the the floor and just cried that I had lost this baby. What had I done? Did I not have what it takes to take care of a child? Let me just tell you how wonderful Mr. Hammer was through all this.

A couple nights later I asked for a blessing. In the blessing I wasnt told I had lost the baby or that I hadnt. But I felt it in my heart... alone with the most comforting peace. All was well.
I went through the horrible misscarriage being positive this wasnt the end and kept focused on the future.

Well it happened! Im pregnant again! Its so wonderful. And scary. It hasnt been the same as last time. I feel alot more cautious and less attached. I have moments of doubt that I will keep this baby and am scared to tell anyone in cause I do. But Im 13 weeks now and am feeling good about it! I am so grateful for another chance and for the miracle it is to have a child.

Through these experiences I have been so thankful for the temple for so many reasons. For forever families. For the peace and comfort it has brought. For the personal revelation. I am so thankful for husbands and the strength they are to their crazy wives.

Anyways. We are SOOO excited. Mr. Hammer is going to be the BEST daddy in the world!

btw.. you should be excited too! :)

-L

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If you have never heard of Melissa Sweet Im very very sad for you. Luckily you have me to share! ;)

Melissa Sweet is my all time favorite wedding gown designer! I would have killed to have one of her dresses for my own wedding. My parents would not have even thought twice about spending the thousands on one.. plus it would of had to be seriously altered to be modest.. anyways..

Why am I talking about this today?? Well, I was never fully satisfied with my wedding dress. Dont get me wrong I really loved it but it wasnt one of my favorite Melissa Sweet gowns.. or so I thought.

I was going through a collection of Melissa Sweet the other day and low and behold there is was. MY GOWN. I about died. Straight up died. Dora by Melissa Sweet. It is almost exactly like my wedding dress minus the sleeves. Sweetheart neckline. Drop A line cut w/ built in (small) train. POKA DOT organza covering satin. (Yes, I had a poka dot dress :) And the best part a long poka dot organza sash tied in a bow in the front. Simply Elegant. Underly Overstated. PERFECT.

HOLY CRAP. Yes people I am that good. Unknowly I picked a knock off mormon version Melissa Sweet gown. Like I said I could have died and gone to heaven. Life. is. good.

If you couldnt tell from this post I am a lover of the clothes. I know this doesnt make sense to some of you but like I like my designer jeans you like your sports or books or movies or various hobbies. Now all I need is to not be a poor college town kid any more so I can buy these things... but all in due time. haha :)

-L